victoria.

2009-12-09T14:09:00.001+08:00

hey! still working out the whole blogging thing but for now i'm at:
http://thenuttythoughtsofvic.tumblr.com/
see ya ;)

2009-12-07T14:55:00.001+08:00

alright, i tired to make a comment thingy but failed. so, i've moved my tag box up and increased the word limit to my tag box tags/comments.
would really like a comment thing though. have been playing around with blogger and not been doing my eassy...
tmr's the last day to do it.
crunch time

read bottom post if you don't understand what i'm talking about.

2009-12-07T12:17:00.003+08:00

i have one cold right hand and one warm left hand
i'm all decked out in a pair of toe socks, wool socks over those, a shirt, a sweater, a vest, a rayon scarf, track pants - warm ones.
my nose isn't cold yet.
the wind's howling...
and i'm delaying (procrastinating) my 10 page CYC essay, which i really shouldn't because its due this coming tuesday.
i'm sitting here in my room, on the floor, with the laptop on my lap, typing, with katie's guitar by my side.
(looks up and breathes out)
i'm starting at the ceiling...
yesterday charlie aka charlieissocoollike made my day with his duet with himself
but today... (breath in and out) i'm just trying to do everything but the essay.
i just need an excuse. a person to talk to. i want to go back to nanaimo. heck i want to go back to singapore! where all my friends are. where family is.
it was so funny when my mum was telling my dad when i was on the phone "then she should come back and go to NUS la" wow. if only she knew what he said when he was here at art's place.

i'm seriously ranting about nothing. i'm going on and on... passing the time. hoping the phone'll ring or something. "RING!!!" just kidding...i didn't even laugh...(rolls eyes to self)
i'm staring at this long box which should have been sent... a few months ago.
january, febuary, april, may.. oh i missed out march. march. so that's 4 more months.
4 times 30, 120 days. hours? 120 times... 24, 2880 hours. (ughhhh)

why is it so different. why! ah. (pulls hair and makes it messy)
haha its so funny i put a note on my shef which is right above my table and when i look at it its at eye level. and it reads:
TODAY 5/12/09
1. FINISH CYC ESSAY! do it!
2. Study BIO. you need to compile
3. Talk to Josh tonight
with a huge smiley face at the bottom.
well we know that one's not done! from reading the top if you've lasted that long. and definitely two is out because one wasn't done (hey it rhymes, ah) and number three was delayed till this morning so not a completely unsuccessful list. could have done way better though.

(strokes guitar strings of guitar)
i really need to get my own guitar... probably get a cheaper one because i'm still kind of sucky. i've been practicing everyday so that's awesome. my left hand fingers all hurt so that's a sign. calluses, hard skin, mmm... need to work on strumming patterns. waiting for julian to send me a video that he's making for me, guitar shi fu haha. i'm just imagining saying shi fu in the ang moh accent. shi fu, with no intonation. well i'll be waiting. looking forward to it. (woo! ho..oo...sorry julian, just totally rambling right now...)

why do i even have this blog. i really know who reads it, well maybe a few but honestly, i don't know. and its weird. but i guess its something i can use to 'hone my typing skills' and 'type faster' like my ESSAY... i'm just putt ting it of fff... why can't i just do it. too much on my mind or something... i don't think so... well maybe. maybe. i've just got a lot to say, always... ALWAYS. or at least i try and think of something to just keep going and going and going and going and going.......and going and go...okay. hmm what if i started blogging again every other day instead of just when i feel like it, that would be interesting wouldn't it. its already interesting enough looking back into my past posts and seeing the difference in style over the years, over the months maybe? but its just amazing how things change... this is probably the only thing making sense now... that i'm typing this...

one thing about blogs though is that when you know that people are reading and you know these people who are reading you kind of think twice about what you write. unless you obviously don't care of course, but have you ever wanted to blog about something so bad but you couldn't because you know that someone's "watching". i thought it was quite a funny thing to realise because blog's are like an online journal-ish thing. but its public not private. so you're allowing people to see what you think, how you feel, what happened, in a nut-shell: a peak into your life. a window perhaps. and so because you're so "open" there shouldn't be a problem with just saying what you want to say i guess... unless it hurts other people. there's a line between saying whatt you feel and thinking about what someone else might feel. like if you put it out there that you hate this person X, explicitly, and rant on all the bad things about her, its pretty... bad. i think.
its the art of suttlties. but... the problem comes when people think that they're someone being described in a post or when they think that this person is involved in something else etc. etc. etc.

well okay rewind. people's reasons for blogging are so different. sometimes its to get something off they're chest, i do that. sometimes its to complain about things, yeah i do that sometimes. sometimes its to just share something awesome that happened in their lives or a video, a poem, a picture etc. i do that too! and sometimes its just to update the whole world about what's going on in their lives, i guess i've done that too. whatever it is... don't hurt people!

the only real journal i have is the one i keep and write in to God. He's the best you know. He always listens and i can tell him everything. not almost everything, not some things only, but everything. its just awesome. and sometimes, as much as i'd like to say things here, i know i shouldn't, so i write it all down, in my, currently, little black book, which is going to finish soon (new journal!) rants, prayers, talk, thanksgiving, tears, feelings, emotion, blah. i like the word blah. it means nothing. blah blah blah. BLAH. haha (okay i actually did giggle)

"12345678 spots on my face
too much acne to erase" hahaha from charlie's acne song =) haha

alrighty. i think i shall ATTEMPT to start this essay. hopefully. and hey... well if there are people out there... comment? i don't know.

that reminds me, i should redesign my blog skin again. after so long.
should put in a comments tab on the end of each post as well.

oh and one more thing, i like this blog because (i think, i assume) not many people know about it. and i can be stupid and not... perfect. haha... sounds like sucha lame reason but yeah. yeah... what i think is best kept to a few people i think... if there is a few people... what if there were more =o!

alright alright! i know, i'm going conscience. smell ya later, whoever you are.

2009-12-06T03:03:00.001+08:00

Job 9:32-35
"He is not a man like me that I might answer him,
that we might confront each other in court.
If only there were someone to arbitrate between us,
to lay his hand upon us both,
someone to remove God's rod from me,
so that his terror would frighten me no more.
Then I would speak up without fear of him,
but as it now stands with me, I cannot."

there is a someone.

swings, wings and wonderful things.

thought 1: stop procrastinating!
thought 2: huh...
thought 3: why can't i just delay this
thought 4: i need to find somewhere else to play the guitar
thought 5: i want to sit on a swing
thought 6: when is tonight coming... in x hours
thought 7: lazzzzyyyyy
thought 8: okay vic, time to work your magic and get another A for an essay
thought 9: huh...

i have to stop hahaha okay i'll be working on my essay.

2009-11-30T12:13:00.001+08:00

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

2009-11-27T13:38:00.002+08:00

i feel so angry. in tears angry. why can't you just let me do something, why can't you just trust me.
i am already 19. 19. i know what i am doing. i have a brain. i'm not a sheltered ungrateful singaporean. why cant you just see that. why cant you just listen to the things i tell you. for one second. just listen. listen. and trust me. you make me cry so violently. because you don't take the effort to understand me. you're always too busy. that you can't even read my email, the whole thing. and you ask me to email you, that's the best part. i don't like this. i hate myself for talking to you that way, but i just wished you listened to me. and trusted me enough. I am in Canada... and i'm living. I've found my way around. Myself. I do things myself. I don't need someone else to go first then I will go, i can just step out and do it myself. i found a church because i just went to one. people are not things that if i don't have i cant't do anything... i have to stop. i must stop. because it hurts. i love you. but you make me feel all... red inside. and yet, you're all i have. to talk to... home.

2009-11-19T12:27:00.002+08:00

17 days till school ends
27 days till the last exam
38 days to Christmas
it'll happen all in a bam

the first year
not even
close

handling the work load
juggling the life
repression, denial, sublimation even!
thank God that exam's just over.

rain down
because the wind's just... too much.
too cold...
popsicle.

2009-11-06T08:30:00.002+08:00

i've left so much behind...
family, i've left you behind...
and i want to go back
i want to go back.

so badly.

but there's more ahead.
to do, to say, to live.

if only tears and magic fairy dust could just bring you back.
to the place where i do belong.

'i am bound for the promise land' - jars of clay, on jordan's stormy banks i stand

2009-11-02T09:05:00.002+08:00

my fingers on my left hand are like peeling on the tips... plus they hurt. and they're like so hard now... but they hurt. so much for getting used to it haha. learning songs on the guitar is always a awesome thing to do when you're feeling all bleah and you don't want to finish up your formal report which is due on tuesday and to be checked tomorrow... (man...)
i've been working on it... just was taking a break after abt.. 3 hours... i've got 2 pages left (as opposed to 8 pages more if i was starting from scratch)
i wonder what'll happen if i plaster my finger tips... see if it will hurt less.

i really need to start getting creative again. feel so lost without my paints, my papers, my material, glue, sisors, ribbon, boxes, felt, markers, cloth and whatever art material i have...at home... and i've just lost inspiration to do things... school work (big ugh) probably if i have a reason i can get so into it, but there's nothing so far, not now... have to start doing random things for people again hahaha
my "just because" chocolate stint in JC. loved that!
creative juices... FLOW!

halloween was an interesting holiday to observe. literally. talk about eye openong experiences.

alright back to the report

i cant believe i have to wait a month for my leeland cd to arrive cuz hmv has to import it... but the good thing i guess is i dont have to pay for the importing price =) just the cd.

this is an emergency...

2009-11-01T23:46:00.002+08:00

how much of your soul are you selling/giving to the world
looks like the devil's winning
the laughter of a boy and girl in the morning
after a night of drunkness, costumes followed by a awesome hangover
its easy to lose yourself
but it was a simple choice

its not fun waiting
its not fun anticipating
its just *shrugs shoulders* not fun

tears of the saints
for the lost and unsaved
we're crying for them come back home
we're crying for them come back home

this is an emergency.

2009-10-29T12:56:00.002+08:00

i wish
you were here.

i wish i could tell you all the things i wanted to say
right now, when they happen, where they happen
what happened

i wish it was
back to normal again
whatever normal is
i don't even know

i wish i didn't feel this way

its a id-ego struggle

if only if only

=) remembering the good times always feels better than thinking about now.

2009-10-20T13:15:00.002+08:00

its amazing how much more you learn about yourself as you grow... older?
how about just as you grow, day by day.
looking back to the past, looking ahead to the future, dealing with the present.
and all that jazz inbetween.
its interesting.

Alexander II has been an awesome companion! =D (aka. Katie's guitar)
have been playing and practiving everyday, at the start or end of the day.
its been awesome =), my fingers hurt but who cares..

wow...
self-awareness is really kicking in for me in so many areas in my life right now...
in everything i do and say.
its amazing what university does to you.
i don't think i've ever talked so much to myself in my whole life...
or realised so many things for that fact.

as far as experience goes, its been an interesting one so far.

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

2009-10-13T23:48:00.001+08:00

there is no beauty in the silence.

2009-10-13T08:04:00.002+08:00

"the answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind
the answer is blowin' in the wind." - bob dylan

if only the wind could speak of stories near and far.

sorrow, happiness, joy, love, tears - all swept away and carried by the wind

the wind blows to where it chooses
and where is chooses no one knows

cold wind rustles the trees here outside my window
i wonder what they its trying to tell me

to stay in?

and hear the electric guitar shredding below

to do my work early to relax for the upcoming week

to prepare for the rainy week ahead

to warn me of what's the come

where winds blow strong and wild

winter's coming. november's coming.

another month.

and my foot is numb.

something's gonna come.

2009-10-09T07:19:00.002+08:00

its amazing how you think about so many things while studying in a cafeteria.

i love studying in the centre caf. its the best. its got the buzz, i can talk to myself and say something to make me remember and no one cares because they're eating. i observe people too... i hear and listen to people... (occasionally picking out a singaporean accent here and there amazingly, picked up a thai one once in the caf across where i was sitting)

the psyc 100B exam was so good. i studied for it, prepared... felt so great. but im kinda loosing steam and i've got like my psyc 100A exam this friday... tomorrow... MORNING... argh.
feeling so lazy right now. but im half motivated. HALF. i really hope i get my act together tonight.

today at bio study group... you know what i wont even go there. it was good... but... big BUT...

(takes a deep breath of air)

youth culture has been on my mind recently. its... sad... its... annoying me.
i feel like my ears are hurting everytime i hear the word "f***" more than what... 10 times in a day. 10's like an under estimate i'd say, its a good day if its between 10 and 20. i have never (in my entire life) heard people talk about sex so much and so openly.
this is just conversation, haven't haven't moved into practice.
i know that i'm not going to assimilate into the culture. i am not going to try and fit in.
but that doesn't mean that i cant be part of the youth.

i'm just talking abt it like real quickly... because i've got psyc to study...

but its just.. ah..

God must be crying every night to see the youth in this state.

2009-10-03T14:50:00.000+08:00

the more you love someone the more you want to kill them...

i so know that feeling...

i wish i didnt feel it...

because i really love them... or rather her... or them... them all...

i wish i wasnt so... annoyed and irritated.

let me be... but i want you to be here too... but i want you to let me be.

deep breath.

2009-09-26T13:51:00.002+08:00

i am just so compelled to post again =)

i love the love that people have here. but i wouldn't generalise and say people... what i mean i guess is i love the love that sean and rachel have for each other. they're a young (but not so) married couple in church.

they're so cute. and they're so... God loving. and they love each other so much.
displaying public affection is not a "pai-seh" thing either.
they really love each other =)...
looking at them makes me go.. aww..

i've only met Sean today anyway.
they're so cute...

like he sharing honestly about his relationship and all at the gathering.
in the presence of his wife haha

its just so honest.

and they have a humble abode. their place is so nice. and they're like really in this together. rach is still looking for a job and still praying for it. sean's working, and i think its full time ministry. and its really just... living by faith ya know. and... God's really awesomely provided for them. and they are content. they're living =)

its not the strive to have a big house, a big car, to get loads of money, to get a bigger house, to satisfy one's needs first. its really just.. living. they've got God, they've got each other. and its just.. (sigh) another wow thing...

i don't know if i'm bringing anything across but... its just different. refreshing.

canada is just.. different. and im seeing it. the differences. the people. really. its not the 'snap your fingers and get things done now' or chasing goals and doing things in shorter and shorter time, like making money etc. etc. its really about community. its really about people and not self. its about being open, honest. its like a family. its slow because material is not something that worth a lot to chase. yeah

im learning, im living. i'm smiling =)

2009-09-26T13:33:00.002+08:00

i cannot wait to do things again, to serve, to be invovled in youth ministry again
i cannot CANNOT wait!!!
i'm so excited. i'm just so excited.
tonight was the most amazing and meaningful gathering ever.

we look at God's word, we shared our lives, what we thought.
what we've been through in our lives. thinking about His word and trying to figure it out and not just go "oh so its like this, alright i'll just abide by it". like... wow you know.. wow. just sitting there, taking time to think, to understand God's word, to have community help you.

and what blew me away were the different opinions everyone had to share. it all sounds so abstract but it was everyone's opinion and it all made sense in the end. there's no 'pai-seh-ness' about sharing and then trying to think whether someone's going to shoot you down or try to override your opinion or no one would want to hear your opinion. its just... everyone just shares. no matter where you are in your walk of life. you just share.

and just praying for one another was amazing. it really was =)

and tonight i realise how much enthusiasm i have for the youth. like really. just being a part of their lives, to stir something you know. to see them be passionate for God. for He's truely what we all should be wanting and giving all the praise. To be thankful. to be living it out for Him. wow. you know wow. and i found myself right at the beginning again. just talking about how i want to help, bringing new ideas.

they've got about 13 actively coming youth. that's not a lot to me because of where i come from. but they're there and they love God :) its time to stir up something. to work with the few, and eventually bring the good news to people out there. to start from humble beginnings. to learn to serve in the walls of the church before going out there.

its really... amazing. i still think it is. that now i'm here. and thank God that now i can be part of something so small and raw. and... just be part of the building process if i can. just... thank God for me being so enthusiastic haha really... i really couldn't stop sharing with Sean about how i was missing the sec 1s back home, the experiences back home in the youth ministry.

its time to be a part of God's awesome plans in this church =) its time to step out and do something. now, more than ever, is the time.

community, love, service. and most of all, pointing it all to God in the end.

2009-09-25T05:50:00.002+08:00

In A Cave

I fell into a cave
a big one
a huge one
and i'm still falling

i'm still falling
and i'm looking around
vines!
my chance of survival

i grab one
a nice thick one
surely i know i can climb
upwards outwards

clinging onto a vine
it's growing thinner each second
slipping slipping
but still gripping tightly

too tight and it may break
too lose and i may fall
let go?
and keep falling, falling

falling.

2009-09-24T11:42:00.002+08:00

living and experiencing are awesome things... they really are!

thanks to facebook you get a peek at other people's lives by looking at pictures, reading comments etc. etc.

i admit that i love browsing through pictures of my friends and like to see what's been happening in their lives =)

and in my head i get all kinds of reactions:
"aww... so cute =)"
"what...the..."
"tsk, i wish i was there too"
"HAHAHAHA!" or "hahaha"
"that... is... not right..."
"why?"
"wow..."
"so not fair..."
so on... and so forth... not anything extravagant.

i could sit here all day...

2009-09-15T13:18:00.003+08:00

i miss you guys...

a lot.

too much.

the innocent fun back in singapore.
the community, the ease of everything.

then again i grew up with it, i'm used to IT.

(deep sigh) i miss you guys. a lot... too much.

rugby, singing, school, oneyouth, family...

i miss you guys. really.

2009-09-11T11:37:00.002+08:00

dont you just wish people sometimes went back to the way they were?
the way they used to be?
or the way that... they were actually happy being themselves?

i do.

but people change. why?
do you ever wonder what pivitol point in their lives caused the change?
how they went off the innocent-pure-happy road into an artificial happy one?
how they just kept going down that road... not looking back,
but as they go further they want to go back...but its getting harder?

i do.

but... people change.
and that's... life.
people change when they realise that they have to or they want to. and then they do.
socital pressures etc. what-have-you
people. change.

and that's that.

2009-09-09T04:11:00.001+08:00

its hard...

its hard.

to be in this... alone.

couped up in a room...
retreating in a familiar place rather than the unknown world outside.

help.

2009-09-07T12:21:00.002+08:00

i feel... weird.

i'm excited... but i feel weird still.

i just moved into my new room, it looks awesome haha. moved all my stuff in, unpacked and all. there's stuff happening tomorrow and the next day...

its hard. it still is.

i feel like i dont really fit in. that's the honest most honest thing i'd say i'm feeling right now...

i'm neither here nor there. not really a full fledged asian, niether a canadian at heart.

i must say this is really awkward. its the asian blood kicking in... the awkwardness of being in a new place... trying to make new friends... who you want to be comfortable with in an instant...

people here are friendly... EVERYONE HERE IS... yeah...

i can so imagine people just telling me to just open up and everything and i totally agree... and im trying to. but its not as easy as it seems.

funny how a social creature falls into such awkward and shy moments...

i pray that i make nice friends...

2009-08-15T20:42:00.002+08:00

love is hard work.
it really is.
its about supporting one another.
being there when someone needs you the most.
to be selfless.

its good hard work i'd say =)
you help each other
strengthen each other
go through the crappy stuff together
and after that its just awesome! (when one or the other comes through)

i guess that's where the expression 'hard love' came about

Jesus loved us so much He died for us. same old story.
he washed his disciples feet
he taught his disciples again and again (even if they didn't get it)
he stuck with them even if they didn't
he cared for others, even if they didn't deserve it
he loved. he loved. no matter what. a-ma-zing or what!

i guess we're all still learning to love and love well
if you aren't i am
towards all people
towards your loved ones =)

selfless
sincere

love

2009-08-11T12:50:00.003+08:00

this song is just beautiful =)

Jon Foreman - The House Of God, Forever

have you ever felt that life just passes by so quickly you don't even know what you're doing any more?
meeting people, doing work, going to places, rehearsals, training, talking, reading, writing, surfing the net, facebook-ing etc. etc. etc. and the list goes on.

today i think i learned to come before God and just slow down. to be real before Him and really share what i'm thinking rather than just praying for people and praying for different things. He wants to listen to us too, how we feel, how we think. and after you let it all out, you just feel awesome =)
i don't know how long i was singing for but i sang for so long with all my heart when i was just around the house and in the shower and getting out of the shower, changing haha! praising God for the awesome God that He is =).
I prayed and my flu's getting much better. Awesome =)

Listen to the song and let it just bless you. Know that God's here for you. and read Psalm 23 after! =)

2009-08-04T11:00:00.002+08:00

wow i haven't blogged in a long while. maybe because i only do it when i feel like it. when i've got something to say. WELL I'VE GOT LOADS TO SAY haha... *rolls eyes*
lets start by making a list:

1. God's been awesome =) He always is! So many awesome things have happened in my life right now, its like mind blowing. and... it all started with a broken collar bone =)

2. i've got the most awesome boyfriend =) (this is also here because julian insists that this is big news -_-) jokes aside, Josh is just awesome =)

3. i have not packed yet to go to canada...save me. i've only packed my cds and my journals. that's about it. i've yet to pack my pillow kingdom heh =)

...

i wanna keep going on.... but i've got to meet charmaine for lunch.

end off with a limerick shall we

there once was a girl with a shoe
who didnt know what exactly to do
so she put it tight
and it didnt fit right
so she said "why doesnt my hand fit this shoe?"

ah... im blogging just got the sake of doing it.

hopefully i'm in the mood again.

=) see ya

2009-07-17T18:22:00.000+08:00

'he shall reign forever
he shall reign forever
he shall reign
forever and ever!"

Yahweh - Hillsong

2009-07-13T17:21:00.000+08:00

new beginnings, post conference!

woo!

2009-06-15T23:58:00.002+08:00

i feel like breaking out into I Feel Pretty from West Side Story =D
just did haha!

its been a long time since i've felt this feeling hahaha its making me laugh!

*beams*

2009-06-13T23:13:00.002+08:00

wow haha
i really feel now like i was meant to go in some way...

there's nothing left for me to kind of "hold on" to

one of my good friends got attached and i'm happy for him! finally it leaves me free in a sense. well it all goes back to ong ago, history. i'm no longer bound =D which is AWESOME!

i fractured my collar bone during training, wed night 10 june. currently recovering. played such an awesome game of 15s. and now im out for about 3 months... by then i'll be in canada. starting a new beginning. that ends rugby in sg.... which kind of sucks actually but nonetheless ends.

new leaders are rising up =)

there's just so many things.

honestly... i will miss everyone. there is no rank. i'll miss everyone in different ways. like zhihan's kookiness, mel my most awesome lit buddy - someone who actually shares the passion, ammar and his poems, my sec 1s when they annoy me... so many things.

just hope to see everyone before i go.

2009-06-09T17:40:00.004+08:00

i feel so exhausted.
i don't know why.
bananarama's over, Asian Womens 7s are over so no more national training.

now i've got kids to take care of who come to 79 almost everyday now...
got to find a sec 1 cgl for my sec 1s, got to find a COWE chairperson.
youth event coming up. planning.
KL club rugby tour.
aussie trip, hillsong conference. gah..

i'm excited. exhausted. deep breath.

help.

and i'm leaving to canada in 2 months.
so that means meeting more people. yay. (no really yay! but because im tired there's no exclaimation mark)

i guess what would be nice is a break.

Matthew 7:13-14
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

2009-05-25T00:01:00.003+08:00

i'm going... it's official.
well, it wasn't that hard of a decision to make yet...
yet it was difficult at times.
i'll be accepting the offer from uvic and going to canada.

i want to live in the present rather than the future right now, so i'll drop the above topic.

new and interesting things have been happening.
meeting new friends, catching up with old ones.
stirring up new and interesting feelings haha reminds me of secondary school

desperately need a shower now... and rest.
tomorrow will be another heck of a day

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.
Honor one another above yourselves.

2009-05-14T00:13:00.002+08:00

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

life's been crazy.
1. Planning for B'rama (games, getting helpers, etc.)
2. Playing rugby 5 times a week (training for club and the upcoming Asian Womens 7s)
3. Working
4. Being at so many places in the same day
5. Trying to meet up with friends in the midst of everything
6. Keeping up with everything
7. Prep-ing for the Sec 1 lessons on sundays
8. Own fitness - running, sprinting...
9. sleeping at 12am on overage each day
10. trying to be home with everyone
11. universtiy stuff (waiting, preparing, deciding)
12. Trying to practice playing the guitar
and the list goes on...

It's amazing how I even get through all these days. It's really got to be God who's pulling me through. The joy of the Lord is my strength. (weak smile... real tired.)

pray for me.

2009-05-14T00:12:00.001+08:00

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

2009-04-20T23:11:00.003+08:00

maybe that's why things nowadays are so accessible from home...
its because if you are learning something in the open, people might just take away your learning opportunities by proclaiming themselves better, or saying you really are lousy or just being the demonstrator forever and not letting you try at all or just out right making fun of you.
so the whole "do-it-at-home" industry is really booming.
so you know, if you've got a skill which you wanna teach, make it a "do-it-at-home" thing, so eventually your students, which you don't know, will turn out to be as good, if not better, than you.
and we'll all have talented people who know it all in this world. save the embarrassment, save on the crap you get, and save on the energy to travel. excellent.

2009-04-19T18:32:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling kinda tried but awesome and good at the same time.
even if i'm this close to drifting off into lala land...
even if i've busted my wrist playing with the TRY RUGBY U12 boys...
even if i'm all red... like a lobster again...

having fun in the sun playing rugby was awesome today =) it just was.

i had this really cool idea on saturday night when we were having cell at the vivo amphitheater.
wouldn't it be kinda cool if someone was playing the acoustic guitar and someone else or the same person was singing at the amphitheater at some corner... singing praises to God. i can so imagine. it would be awesome.
its like prepare the day before hand all the songs so that it'll flow and then go down and play and sing.

okay sorry... like real random, but someday... i guess i hope to do that.
how would people take it? hmmm interesting...

and another thing... who reads all this random stuff i blog anyway?! haha that'll be interesting to know heh =D

2009-04-10T20:14:00.003+08:00

today, Jesus was rejected. his friends, left him to be taken away. suffered.
he was hung on the cross. crucified. for all of us. that's right... for filthy us.
how can you not be amazed at such love. how?! how.

that is what we remember on good friday. the noble death of a Saviour. of how the Father loved. of how we should be eternally grateful. Thank God.

Romans 5:6-8
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

2009-03-29T23:22:00.002+08:00

i think i need a friend
not just for pretend
not right till the end
just for now
but how?
why not just a cow
and all the gibberish i could possibly think up right now... as i wait for a buzz to go off.

i wish i were back with my sec 1s in class right now...
they make me smile, strangely
maybe because they're full of youth and promise...
still young in meeting the world.
all who have yet to make connections that may last...
or not last...
or that mean nothing..

people say a lot of things...
they really do.
you don't know if they mean it or not until you actually test their credibility
well... i've never been one to venture into such testing...

maybe its time to do so...

2009-03-27T21:32:00.002+08:00

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - Tracks of My Tears

People say I'm the life of the party
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..

I need you, need you

Since you left me if you see me with another girl
Seeming like I'm having fun
Although she may be cute
She's just a substitute
Because you're the permanent one..

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..

I need you, need you

Outside I'm masquerading
Inside my hope is fading
Just a clown oh yeah
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up
I wear since my break up with you..

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

its really such a beautiful song. i hate to say this but i discovered this song through American Idol when Adam Lambert sang it. and it was really as Smokey said, tender. and Smokey was saying that... when he wrote this song he through of actually if you really came up to the person singing, you could actually see the faded trace of tears from the break up. that's the extent of sadness...
wow. =)

how many tracks run along your cheeks for the different reasons...

i'd say plenty.

2009-03-24T19:59:00.002+08:00

woo! i feel really fresh and alive =)
mainly because of Loud Fest '09 (which is UNFORTUNATELY OVER...awww...oh well.)
i'm currently bopping to Made Alive by Audacious, awesome song =) and the album is awesome too!

over Loud Fest '09, the ignite conference, my life, and some perspectives have changed. lots of revelations. its been awesome. Some revelations regarding:
1. worship
2. evangelism
3. Christianity
4. youth ministry
5. my relationship with God
and many many more...

it was just awesome. probably in the next few posts i'll be elaborating on my revelations, so.. stay tuned =)

2009-03-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

you are not supposed to feel this way at all. NOT!
another one. AND of the same kind.

OKAY STOP.

you cannot assume anything.

strike two.

2009-03-13T22:52:00.002+08:00

how to keep an active social life:
1. MONEY!
2. have a great personality so people can actually TALK to you
3. stop lazing around at home and doing nothing aka sleeping, looking at the computer screen for hours
4. when you're invited to something, just GO.
5. lastly, don't get bored, go do something!

[please don't take this list seriously, its meant to be a product of entertainment, if it even is...]

i'm seriously so so... i don't know what to do. i want to be in school again.

canada singapore canada singapore singapore singapore canada CAAANNNNADDAAAA

lalala...

help.

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and everything you do
yeah they were all yellow

2009-03-10T22:55:00.002+08:00

you've always been the untold mystery in my life. and even as i look up at the full moon, i just think about this mystery, the mystery that has never been revealed, or rather never been uncovered because its not been ventured.
i honestly don't know what you're doing, who you're talking to if you are, what you're looking at, smelling, eating, thinking right at this very moment, but what i do know is that you're not replying and its as if you hold the key to this mystery because the lock to open it is almost "unpickable".
i thought i left you in a corner up in the attic. i thought. well maybe i thought wrong. and each time i take the book i scream "open up!" but the lock stays shut, the book with all the pages tightly held together. surely there must be a way.
till that day, i shall wait. and try to fill the pages in a similar book, one without a lock. one that i cna read and convince myself that, i solved the mystery, i did it. when you sit, up in the corner, waiting... to unlock yourself when the time comes.

2009-03-08T23:18:00.003+08:00

how do you actually deal with the big D...
think... movie sequence.
happy family, have 3 kids, pretty much grown up already say the youngest being 18, and then the dad wants a divorce (big shocker) and the mum's obviously having lime but recovering, they separate, they go separate ways, mum stays because family's close by, the oldest goes out on a drinking frenzy because she can't handle it and eventually tries to not screw her life up. in the end they live happily ever after, somehow, from learning from the past. the end.

how nice.

this is not.. good. at all.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
[The God of All Comfort] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

2009-03-03T16:14:00.004+08:00

4.16pm and i've got about 2 hours till i'm off work haha...

sigh...

there are just so many many MANY things happening in my life right now. its really a whirlwind...

every afternoon when i stare at the desktop screen i always feel so sleepy. maybe my eyes are just irritated... so i changed the blog skin, letting it have a sort of green theme haha... lame.. i know...

i feel like writing a poem. haven't done so in a while.
i just need to gather the inspiration from somewhere...

sigh...

when i sigh i actually do. its a breathing thing... a pause and then a sigh haha

today's one of the day's which i don't have training =)
i currently have 2 rugby trainings i'm attending:
1. HK Sevens training (mon, thur/fri)
2. WRNC 10s training (wed,sun)
its been tiring i suppose. plus i have fitness to do before trainings... ai yai yai...

last sunday one of my cell members asked me this question, "teacher, why are you always so tired when i ask you a question?"
and it really got me thinking... right now i have so many things that i have to do or have to go for.
HAVE TO DO/HAVE TO GO FOR...more like want to do and want to go for...because its a choice. and i've chosen to do everything. besides that, it is true that i am tired. it is true that i really feel like giving up and dropping everything i have to do now. but i can't. there are people who need me. and i cannot just drop everything like that even if i wanted to.

sigh... i am tired but i'll still carry on.

each morning i do my quiet time either at home or in church. but recently i've been doing it in church. journalling, reading the bible... its been awesome =)
this one verse has really encouraged me, although my faith is not really being tested right now but still the verse is really amazing.
"God will bless you, if you don't give up when your faith is being tested - James 1:12"
it was one of the gracestar verses on the board in the classroom. such a great verse =)

as you can see i'm being real random...
random thoughts...
as i said there's lots going in up in my head. its driving me insane! haha

oh well... i hope it all gets sorted out soon.

by thursday i'll find out if i'm playing for the national team or not in HK for rugby 7s
and by friday i'll get my A level results and find out how i do...whoop..de...doo oo oo...
level of enthusiasm: 50% hahaha

okay in the spirit of randomness... i shall post photos...

blacks RFC at WRNC 7s

blacks 2 at WRNC 7s!

the nike human race... 10k woo!

SRJC touch rugby team, geared up and ready to go with Mr Andrew being more ready than us

nash and i at prom hahaha =D nothing's better than a bow tie

good times
hokay till the next post!

2009-02-21T17:36:00.002+08:00

the one thing i really hate is that i hate to be angry.
and because of hate i'm angry. which makes it even worse.
i hate the fact that im angry because of hate.

argh

i pray, seriously, that i can let this go.

but how can you?!?! HOW?!?...

2009-02-17T17:49:00.002+08:00

2nd day working in church haha and its been not bad =)
today's task - clean the sticker stains in the toilet and lift with GOO GONE haha! amazing stuff
if anyone sticks anything anywhere again... i'll get them to clean it up themselves haha!

today, i spent sometime preparing the material for the sec 1 CG this coming sunday. was reading the passage abt matthew/levi who followed Jesus and they ate with the sinners etc. (ref. Matt 9:9-13) and looking at some bible study websites and all.

bible history can be quite interesting actually. and today one thing that i've learnt would be that Jesus offered forgiveness and didn't care whether the people he ate with were sinners or not. i guess its important to know that we can't stay within our own cliques, e.g. like always stay with out church friends and stuff. we have to mix with other people out there. to show the love that Jesus gave us to others. to demonstrate that love. yeah haha.

quite cool actually. go read. its barely the length of your baby finger...

anyway... still contemplating whether to run or not later...hmmm

2009-02-13T20:03:00.003+08:00

hilarious happening of the day:

AC boy checking himself (HIMSELF!) out in the mrt...
plus dancing and singing to himself...

(pause...)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i really tried to stop myself from laughing on the mrt because he was right in front of me.

hahahaha

2009-02-13T00:28:00.002+08:00

this one week break has really been such a blessing =)

i've left Asia Travel last friday and am going to start interning in church next week, and i just feel so excited. There's so many things lined up for 2009. i was so right when i knew it was going to be such a great year. can't wait to see what God has in store.

i've been taking each morning slowly. breakfast, reading the bible, journaling... enjoying the morning breeze and the sun coming in, bringing warmth to a chilly morning. i really love my mornings. 8am is not a too early time, its just the RIGHT time to start the perfect day. rain or shine. and you just look out the window and you see God's creation, wow... =) calm trees, the blue sky... need i say more.

work really just takes away that precious time that you have. work as well as other things too... in my case. maybe that's what it means to rest on sundays. to spend time with God. to just... be with Him and in his presence. to put aside all that is work and just... relax.
doesn't seem true in the busy world today...

there is one thing about this week that really... changed my perspective of things. i'll keep it nice and short (if i can...), and it'll be quite vague since the details are... confidential (haha)

i went out with a friend on tuesday night. as always meeting this friend is a blast. we talk, we zoom back into the past and talk about the present and look ahead to the future of what is to come. and for the first time (or maybe the second) we talked more about God and Christianity in general. my favourite verse and lots of other stuff. you see, this friend means... almost the world to me. and i've been always trying to figure out what this friend has been thinking for the longest time about the friendship that we've has for the past... 8 years or so.

when i went home that night, i was, again, having all these thoughts in my head. "what do you think about our friendship?" "what do i mean to you" etc.
notice the "I" in those questions.
and then i just starting thinking through our conversation over dinner... and immediately my focus shifted. and then suddenly, the burning questions of "what do you think about me" etc. just...faded into the background. and new questions came to mind: what do you think about God? what does He mean to you? what does Jesus mean to you?
and from that point, it just didn't matter anymore, what my friend thought about me.
i really pray and hope that this friend comes to experience God for himself.

and i really thank God that... i've found a way to move from here. to move out of the madness of trying to figure out another person. and i would really want to see this person come to know Christ, more than anything. =) its really been an answered prayer to find a way to move on.

anyway, i gotta go to bed. got to wake up EARLY to spend the awesome morning with an awesome God =D

and yes to those ppl out there who have commented... i will try to blog more frequently...
TRY. the inspiration must come... maybe i should write a poem soon...

no inspiration lah! hahaha =D chao

2009-01-27T21:35:00.003+08:00

inspired by facebook...
i just decided to "pen" down 15 random things about anything

1. i wish that my sister and i could actually get along
2. i need to cut my finger nails before i chew them off...
3. my area at home looks like a dump
4. cannot control my weird breathing lately...hmmm...
5. what if i lived in a castle? what a playground it would be. heh.
6. L O V E the sec one kids i teach in sunday school =)
7. will be right back...
8. is back after... about 2 hours?!
9. doesn't know whether it would be best to stay in singapore or to go to canada.
10. wish i had more time for everything
11. is anxious about the a levels results that are going to be out...soon...
12. can't wait for sunday's litte india exploration trip =)
13. i think i should have a yard sale of all my old stuff (which i will not be thrilled to part with)
14. is currently reading Twilight... heh.
15. wants you to go listen to the song Lovefool by The Cardigans! so on a roll for the old stuff haha

bored bored bored...
work tmr. gah.

2009-01-23T09:33:00.001+08:00

i really wish i didn't have to say this...
but its getting harder to breathe sometimes...
literally.

2009-01-20T23:32:00.001+08:00

The Wannadies - You and Me Song

this is such a cute song haha real old, way back.

it makes me want to laugh and smile =)

2009-01-14T22:30:00.003+08:00

i guess its just the different ways people look at things...
like for me i was SO happy to get that 17.
so so happy, to be honest.
well, i pray they move on and still choose God =)

the week so far:
monday: boy problems
tuesday: what to do in 2009 problems
wednesday: further study problems.

problems... problems...problems...

one thing about a desk/admin job is that its so mindless you just start drifting off during work. your mind just wanders and you realise you think about so many things...
or just keep thinking about the same thing and not knowing what to decide.
argh... its really frustrating.
everything.

i just hope the decisions come to mind soon.

2009-01-13T23:51:00.003+08:00

currently listening to 'Free' from the Face II Face album.
its just the most awesome song..ever...

'yeah...
I'm free, I'm free
to be the one You've called me to be
You gave your life to set me free
now I'm free now I'm free

yeah...
I'm free, I'm free
to tell the world the way it is
that You're my life, my strength, my king
'cause now I'm free, now I'm free'

its the perfect "staring at the sky with the wind blowing through your hair" song...
or the perfect contemplating song...
or just THE perfect song. =)

2009-01-04T22:49:00.002+08:00

a note for a memory
a penny for your thoughts

2 Jan 09, 10:10pm

Is there anything wrong with expressing love? not in the romantic way, but in the friendship way or even the appreciation way. Love can often be mistaken for romance nowadays. The unconditional love that all humans have for each other... its just so often mistaken.
What's wrong with giving a folded tissue paper flower to a waiter who was nice and hospitable? A friend says I'm giving the wrong impression, but I believe that I'm showing thanks for such chivalry. Its nice to have someone to talk to, especially after waiting so long for the guys to come for dinner.

I guess why my friend said this was because of the world view today. It shows that, people aren't loved enough that they might feel romantically for someone doing something out of love, unconditional love, the love that every human being deserves, God's love.
(my friend had good intentions, he just didn't want a guy to be lead on by a simple action and didn't want anything to happen to me.)
If we all appreciated each other more with just small things, like saying "Thank you" when someone opens the door or clears your plate or giving a flower to show love, the world would be a much better place.

Love... comes from the heart. I didn't do it, fold the flower, because I was sparked by a "love romance" feeling to "flirt" with him. I just wanted to five One aka the guy, the love that he deserved. The love I wanted to reciprocate back, to let him know that he is loved.
Isn't the wonder of God's love just so overwhelming that when you realize your duty to love, you wont have the childish thoughts of "oh is this the wrong message I'm sending" (although in some cases love may be too fully displayed and mistaken for being too much or too affectionate), you'll just want to love. To show His show, in hopes that people realize that it is possible to love beyond romance. That there is a love greater than romantic love, but God's love.
The greatest love story says it all. Jesus paid the ultimate price. Died on the cross for us. He love us, unconditionally. He wanted us to know that there is a God up there who does love us so so much, He sent His son to die, and furthermore save us from eternal damnation. Wow. I'd always be eternally grateful. This is our God!

I cannot compare the "giving a rose" act to the dying on the cross... But I can try and make the world a better place. Make it more worth while. Make people know that there is more to life that just living it and dying knowing that the world is a terrible place. We all have the capacity to love. In life we should want to love freely and show that love to others like Jesus did. Or we can choose to hide and make ourselves cold stones, unfeeling and cynical to the idea that there is such a thing as unconditional love.

We need love. So many people out there need love. You need to show the love today. Amen.

10:29pm

2009-01-01T23:25:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR haha offically =)
its like the last 30 minutes of the day...
and today's really been awesome!

i guess the most exciting thing was Simon and Cheryl's wedding =)
the couple's speech...
the tears.
Hannah and Michael, wow.

I'll be starting my first job ever tomorrow, how nice haha.
it'll be quite an experience, and after i need to call ammar and man to report about it
and i'll try not to make it colourful heh =D

Today's the first day of doing Experiencing God too =)
My new Bible Study book. Its awesome so far. experiencing God.

2009!

I pray that i won't be sucked into the madness of the busy world, and that i choose God each and everyday =)

2008-12-31T21:18:00.003+08:00

listening to the new Plunge demo =D AWESOME STUFF haha
you can listen to it at http://www.undignifiedasia.com

2008 has been amazing! God has definitely been faithful =D
I really cannot for 2009, I can just feel that there's just so much in store for the youth this coming season. You can't describe the excitement in me haha seriously =D

campFREE was really the best thing to end the year with =)
Awesome CHICKEN RICE!!! hahaha

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! (in advance before the new year starts)

2008-12-19T01:07:00.002+08:00

Can we be real in this world?
Or rather, why can't people just be real!?

Reality is cruel.
Our sinful natures, the reality of it, is just scary.

Lust, greed, profanities, selfishness, you name it. I'm sure all of us know better.

Sorry, I'm just really frustrated with the world.

as a friend always says "wake up and stop living in Utopia"

So in reality, we can't be real. We lie, in order to conceal our real sinful selves.
How awesome.

Why even lie when all of us are of the same kind anyway?

The best part is people of this world embrace the crap that it produces.
Like a movie which involves sex, profanities and all of the sort.
Wow, lets just all go watch it and laugh.

Laugh at your behaviour, bozo.

It disgusts me.

Then again, the world was never perfect.
I'm not perfect.

But why do we do the things that we know are wrong deep down inside?

Simple, because we like it and enjoy it.

Seriously, think about it.

How I wish I was the silver surfer...

2008-12-14T21:40:00.003+08:00

i've been going crazy over this song =), love it haha and i love the song An Apple A Day from the musical too!

Something Wild - Snow White and Prince Charming
from musical 'Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs'
Lyrics by Alfian Sa'at
Snow White: Elena Wang
Prince Charming: Dwayne Tan

PC:
There is something in the air
So delicate and rare
I hear the tigers purring
The elephants are stirring

SW:
There's something in the air
You feel it if you dare
I see the hippo yawning
Is this a kind of warning

PC:
There is something in the air
Its caught me unaware

SW:
See that bobber leering
Just listen to their jeering

PC:
Its something wild

SW:
Its something wild

PC and SW:
Its something wild i can't deny
I'm growing wings and flying high

PC and SW:
Its something wild

SW:
Its something wild

PC and SW:
Its something wild i can't deny
I'm growing wings and flying high

PC:
Why does the peacock spread its tail
How does one be an alpha male
What explains the bower's bird's nest
Or locking horns just to impress

SW:
How the breath is like a butterfly
That flutters sweetly in the sky
The heart is like an untamed horse
That gallops on its destined course

(interlude)

PC:
Its something wild

SW:
Its something wild

PC and SW:
Its something wild i can't deny
I'm growing wings and flying high

PC and SW:
Its something wild
Its something wild
Its something wild i can't deny
I'm growing wings and flying high
Flying high
Flying high

2008-12-07T17:52:00.002+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

love reigns
isn't it an amazing thing?
its like your family members still love you despite of everything
or your friends still love you despite of whatever crap you put them through (well the true ones)

doesn't everyone search for it?
that something? to feel loved?
to feel special and wanted.

Because of love, we forgive one another, we accept one another's differences.
We quarrel, but it doesn't last long. We try and make things better again because friends mean a lot to us.

Maybe its just me... in this fluffy cloud filled with thoughts of people and love.
and its so much more than the superficial "i like you, you like me" thoughts.
i don't know. i just think the whole notion of love is just amazing, don't you think?

and now for something completely different... (i.e monty python - for those of you who get it)

speak my language
read my thoughts
quote my memories
finish the dots

write my words
hear my song
dance to my melody
be the inspiration i long

dry my tears
stand by my side
pull me together
despite the crazy ride

be my lasting diamond dime
help me finish this unending rhyme

2008-11-30T00:01:00.003+08:00

im really tired of asking and trying...
maybe its just bad timing
or am i trying too hard, finding,
something that isn't there.

perhaps i shouldn't bother minding
because sometimes it gets frustrating
although time to time i'm always hoping
for something that isn't there.

seriously, victoria, stop this rhyming
at such an unearthly unapt timing
you knew this before deciding
about something that wasn't there.

i guess its always the sad ending
so much for having dreams and pretending
so much for having time worth spending
on something that wasn't there.

2008-11-28T22:31:00.002+08:00

people... are complex.
yes, its an obvious, brainless statement.
people ARE complex.
in emotion, thought, being... EVERYTHING.

its just so hard to understand one person. or like a few, maybe.

hard to decipher what they are thinking, what they want, what they are trying to say.

i must say i am guilty of playing games with people... to try and get something across.
you know... when you wanna say something or want someone to do something but you don't wanna say it out right because it makes you sound so desperate or the other person might think there's something going on, or its just not very nice... well we've all been there and tried (DON'T DENY)

people are hard to understand and i feel that its a skill to understand people and how to act or react in given situations (e.g. when the person expresses anger or frustration, when the person is silent and would rather not talk etc.)

i find it interesting the way people... act differently in front of different people (you can refer to my nov 12 post). and if we are able to understand the real person behind all these faces, you'd probably be able explore the person more and know what makes the person tick or what to say in front of the person instead of offending the person.

i guess all this talk is from experiences with different people.
some are more different that others when it comes to a comparison between the group and individual setting. some are a consistent character, with slight changes.
some... are idiots. (sorry just this one person so far is being an idiot....)
some are genuine and i love these kinda people.
some prefer to talk about things that are superficial and only go skin deep.
some are deceiving...misleading...etc. i shall not continue on this one.
some are... just awesome to be with.
and i mean all the different types so on and so forth.

just a random question:
how far does genuine love go in a fake superficial world? between people that is.
*shrug*
but i do believe its possible. yeah.

update on my life after A's...
BUSY! BUSY! BUSY!
hahaha amazingly. i mean its a good thing i'm keeping myself occupied. but still it's tiring.
but hey, its better than nothing =)
wanna catch up with all you people i haven't caught up with. drop me like an sms or call me or something if i've missed ya! (of if you miss me =D)
well anyway i'll get around to you...
movie time with myself... =D
till the next lengthy post.

2008-11-24T00:02:00.003+08:00

what is love.
what is it?

between
God-human
parent-child
girl-boy
man-women
friend-friend
man-object/hobby???
etc.

unconditional, romantic, emotional, hard, painful, sweet, cute, hurtful, undeserved, patient, kind, understanding, forgiving, delicate, gentle, harsh, unimaginable, indescribable, awesome.

i seriously need to fill the holes of the past.

WAKE UP VIC.
wake up.

Psalm 100:4-5
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."

2008-11-22T00:19:00.002+08:00

listening to Blind by Lifehouse

"after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go"

ah, its just making me feel all emo...
the feeling i don't wanna feel.

2008-11-12T23:19:00.004+08:00

as i was walking up the hill tonight
after the loooong mrt ride from simei
after having fun with the guys at 'eighteen chiefs'

i was thinking about this question:
"Who are you?"
weird i know... but really ask yourself, who are you.

do people really know... you
or do they know "you"

i asked myself this strange question after thinking about people and their mannerisms and the way they act, how it contributes to the way they are etc. that kinda stuff
and after 'analyzing' this caucasian guy in the mrt then i finally asked myself the question.

who do people think i am?
is it a reflection of who i think i am?
or are we different in different people's eyes?

speaking about myself, i don't know if i've ever shown a complete self to any one person
or i'm not sure if i have
its always most or bits and pieces but not all

its like... you treat people they way you treat them according to who they are
its like i talk to A about life and love but i might not talk to B about it because B's not that kinda person. or i talk to C about God but i don't really talk about Him with D because D's not interested.

wouldn't it be awesome if you could sorta reveal yourself to someone completely.
to give the full picture and not just a piece of the puzzle
to be yourself.
to be YOU.
and not "you"

for me... i'd say i've been a consistent character with all my friends... i think.
just that some get more sides of me than others.
yeah. but i'm still the same old chatty, talkative, sometimes annoying, optimistic, loud, happy vic =)

oh well. just... think about it.

who are you?

2008-11-11T19:19:00.002+08:00

1 John 2:15-16 "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world."

2008-11-11T18:22:00.005+08:00

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages." - William Shakespeare

All the world's a stage, and we are all merely players.
We play our parts so well, everyone in sync with one another.

But when one misses a line or stumbles, we fail, we fall.
The show, would be done for,
Our parts of no use. All because of one silly mistake.

But when we play our parts well, after comes the applause.
The genuine, yet admittedly jealous, applause,
For our hard work and effort, for not making a mistake.
For the constant meticulous checking, for the rules we do not break.

But what if I get off this stage
And decide to abandon this fake, phony act.
To be not a player, not an actor, but me.
Me.

Like an actor with no lines, no expectations.
No rules to follow, no asides or quotations.
To be who you want to be, without having to play A part.

Ah, but all the world's a stage, and we the 'willing' players,
To play our parts in line with all while we hide our silent prayers.

2008-10-31T19:57:00.003+08:00

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
James Morrison - You Give Me Something
John Mayer - Dreaming With A Broken Heart
Elton John - Your Song
Gavin Rossdale - Love Remains the Same
Coldplay - Viva La Vida

awesome new/old songs

2008-10-29T21:17:00.002+08:00

i guess people just...change.
they just do.

me, you, they, she, he, them, us...we all change.

for better or for worse? well that's a different story altogether.

apart from obsessing about the fact that people change and i can't do anything about it...
or can i...anyway...the a levels are coming.

stop all the clocks.

lets see if i remember the order:
clb 1,2
gp 1,2
math 1
chem 3
bio 2
math 2
lit 1, clb lc
chem 2
chem 1
bio 3
bio 1

ahhhh....

its gonna be...fine. YES it is....

2008-10-23T20:24:00.001+08:00

i can't wait to play rugby again
i can't wait to go out with friends. the old, the new, everyone!
i can't wait to have days where i can just sit around "talking cock" till forever
i can't wait to save money to buy new cds
i can't wait for campFREE
i can't wait to wear something other than pe tshirts and shirts from sr
i can't wait...i can't wait to wake up late again
i can't wait to use my com to chat all day on msn
i can't wait to blab over the phone for hours
i can't wait to meet everyone
i can't wait...till the A's are over....

i just can't wait.

2008-10-20T22:36:00.003+08:00

monday
it passed so slowly
painfully
ugh the agony

1 more month! and it'll be over
OVER =D (can you see how wide the smile is...)

lets see the people who came by to talk to me today almost in order:
joel
joelyn and pauline
melissa
arif
newman and jason
nicholas and man, and later ammar
gilson and dickson
domanic
jared
the girl to guy ratio is just way off...3:11 wowza...
the canteen - a place for food, conversation and talking real loudly...woo..hoo..

and tomorrow will be tuesday

terrific tuesday

haha the councilors should have a word for each day instead of "have a great day ahead" like everyday....
"have a terrific tuesday ahead!" or " have a wacky wednesday ahead!"
... well it does sound better haha...every day isn't always just 'great' you know...

this is not the time to be all dramatic, but seriously...
its all becoming a drag... the days....are sooo long...
(and its only been monday)

ah! i'm going crazy...

anyway... read the charlotte bronte poem below. love it =)

2008-10-20T22:27:00.001+08:00

Evening Solace by Charlotte Bronte

The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly backa faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.
Oh ! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie !

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven,
Seeking a life and world to come.

2008-10-18T23:16:00.002+08:00

how the days pass so slowly yet quickly at the same time

and you realise new things about yourself that you didn't realise half your life
boy, what an eye-opener.

so many things are gonna happen after the As... i can just feel it. so SO many things.
i feel it in my bones hahaha

*rolls eyes* i'm trying not to go psycho here...

'Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.' Psalm 21:14

2008-10-08T21:17:00.002+08:00

just listening to Blue Eyes by the Cary Brothers again... scroll down if you want to listen to it
nice mellow song... to cure this aching head of mine haha

blue eyes
you're the secret i keep

the a's are coming soon
they're just drawing closer and closer
are you freaking out yet?

whatever my lot You have taught me to say
it is well, it is well with my soul

2008-10-05T01:12:00.001+08:00

yes, it was paranoia.

2008-10-04T22:43:00.004+08:00

"short through the heart and you're to blame. you give love a bad name."

how apt a line

maybe because it was coming right at me and i chose to take it
head on

if only the mars bar would just stop being so irresistibly nice to pick up because of its creamy insides
but if the caramel goes bad... should you eat it again?
(literally, don't)

or maybe its paranoia as always
WHY!

ah

life goes on

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." Psalms 27:1

2008-10-01T22:07:00.003+08:00

friendship
friend-ship
maybe its a journey with much turbulence that's why you need a 'ship' at the end of 'friend'
well its a heck of a journey
different ones
easy ones with calm waters
rocky ones with constant whirl pools and hurricanes
but the ship still sails
slowly but surely
what kind of waters are you?

feelings
ugh how i hate them
one minute you feel something the next you have to diminish it and put out the flame
i seriously don't know how this fire (maybe even a small flame) still exists
the chances to pour water all over it and make sure it was extinguished never happened
the pail was always next to the fire but untouched till this day
why? i loathe the question
i just want to know what sparked the spark to the flame
what's even fueling this undying flame
what? what!? what...
and then hopefully i'll be able to put out the light

recently the skies have been more beautiful
the moon shines brighter than ever before and the stars take after it
the clouds shape themselves into fluffy ponies
and i imagine them to be soft pillows
ah i love God's creation
is there anything more beautiful?

how sharp can a needle get when its been sharpened?
can a needle be sharpened?
i knew it would hurt
i know its hurting
i know it will hurt again
small holes they make
and the blood oozes out
slowly,
how long will it be before the small makes a big
and then the blood splatters, erupts
and ruins the heart
wouldn't you so love it
thank God for the heart of steel that still feels

light, oh light!
thank you for shining in
its never been this bright
well there were brighter days
now its just...getting dimmer
but still its brighter
its like the light in the living room - too bright
but i like it
hopefully the light doesn't blind

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me"
Psalm 51:12

2008-09-08T19:36:00.003+08:00

day1 (back to school after the sept holidays)
gosh am i tired...

so tried.

i slept on the train ride back...on DAY 1!

went to school, nice morning
got back GP, chem and bio results back
4 hrs straight of lessons and a 30 min break in between in no joke...

and then after lunch i decided to stay in school to study for a while...
i managed to complete integration and some bio virus notes ONLY!

and i'm so tried.
did i mention that already?

wake me up when september ends...(haha just thought of it...groan)

yes lit and math tmr! this should be good haha results

the song on my mind on the way home was 'Every Beat Of My Heart' by Corrinne May =) love it
i think it sounds awesome.

i pray that this tiredness ends... tomorrow will be another day =)

2008-08-27T20:31:00.003+08:00

Cary Brothers - Blue Eyes

i just wanna sing a song with you

2008-08-02T20:34:00.002+08:00

i can't believe it! i ran 18km in 1hr 45 mins!
when i hit 10km it was 57.20 mins.
WOO!

=D

thanks to all the ppl who cheered and all along the way. AWESOME haha!

and to all who completed the 10k or did more, GOOD JOB =)

it was just so awesome today. everyone running.

SRJC's got heart.

2008-07-09T22:53:00.002+08:00

to be honest i feel very weird... very... out of place.
studying, studying and more studying...
its just not me. at all.

its as if i've given up talk for notes
lunch for practice
what is happening?!

its what this thing called the A levels do to you
suck the fun out of life, slowly but surely

i miss conversation, typing on the keyboard and phone
talking over the phone and in person
i really miss it.

so is it just me or is this thing taking over my life
hopefully the process is faster so we can move on with our lives...

"my idea of social work is when someone does a crime and is sentenced to social work"
"what, you want to be the next Mother Theresa?"
"what gave you the idea!?"
"who gave you this idea about social work?"
"there must have been something that started all this"

2008-06-29T14:57:00.005+08:00

"May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen."

I think God has really blessed me with foolishness. Crazy as it seems haha! but I really think so. Its so amazing how God takes whatever we think is so bad in our lives and makes it into something good, something useful. Just like this prayer I read from the starting of the 40 Days of Prayer book... Its really amazing. We should really learn to see the blessings we have even when things are going so wrong.
God has given us so much. The ability to be able to wake up each morning, to have the sun rise, to live. So always know that you are blessed, because God loves you. =)

2008-06-22T22:49:00.001+08:00

I've got the bad case of hickups now hahaha
ahh school's starting tmr.
i'm a little ditsy now...
SCONES!
mmmmm
sllleeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppp

The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalms 121:7-8

2008-06-19T18:52:00.001+08:00

JASON MRAZ!!! ahhhh!!! =D

2008-06-17T19:53:00.003+08:00

nothing's better than Jars of Clay =)
really miss the sound of the band...

wouldn't it be cool to perform in a band?
haha i don't know... i think it'll be real cool
drums, guitar, bass, vocals, electric, synthesizer
oo lala hahaha

wouldn't it be cool if sr had a live band again?
Member! a.k.a Inelastic Collisions was the last band at sr but they're graduated
and i don't think i'd see another band like them again haha
wouldn't it be cool is the school held the fund raiser on the school field
stage and all...
live performances
=D awesome.
party under the stars!
i just have a thing for grass and stars =) and of course with the moon in sight
but having is happen is another thing...

i'm supposed to be doing lit essay outlines now...
lazzzzeeee

as you can tell i'm really bored...

singing to Jars of Clay!

2008-06-13T16:07:00.002+08:00

just got back from lit consultation!
ah just love lit... been drowning in it for the past 2 days haha
KING LEAR! and i don't even take it...heh

and i got my good conversations! woo

i should get back into training mode next week...like kick start my physical activity.
been such a dud since rugby stopped...pe i just not doing it for me...aww well
southern ridges here i come!

i need time to be an explorer again
to explore with my bike, my two feet...
yeah

1 more week then back to sch...cant wait to see everyone.

RUGBY TMR! yes yes YES! =)

2008-06-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

i need a good conversation.
like last night.

like some nights before.

even music won't cut it.

i should just drown myself in work...

2008-06-05T18:28:00.002+08:00

JAZZ! love it. getting hooked onto it haha =D
and i'm talkign about REAL jazz.
been listening to my "We All Love Ella" album, a tribute album to Ella Fitzgerald. ITS AMAZING! the vocals haha FANTASTIC. magnific!
gosh if I could sing like that... it would be mind blowing.

and i just finished watching the first Narnia movie...want to watch the second one.
oh oh and i watched Becoming Jane too haha
and i didn't know the same actor (James McAvoy) was in both films haha cool.

met charmaine for lunch today =) at subway! haha nothing beats subway for lunch...
and after went down to video ezy to rent the 2 dvds Narnia and Becoming Jane.

after finishing Becoming Jane went down to vivo again to get my Parachute Band cd (which was LONG overdue for return) from sherwin. cheeky fella.

i HAVE to start and get going with my studies...really... yes i did my hypothesis testing this morning but REVISION REVISION REVISION...have to START...grrr.
pray for me won't you.

so little time, so much to do.

2008-06-03T21:03:00.003+08:00

Tonight at Noon
A Poem by Adrian Henri

Tonight at noon
Supermarkets will advertise 3p extra on everything
Tonight at noon
Children from happy families will be sent to live in a home
Elephants will tell each other human jokes
America will declare peace on Russia
World War I generals will sell poppies on the street on November 11th
The first daffodils of autumn will appear
When the leaves fall upwards to the trees

Tonight at noon
Pigeons will hunt cats through city backyards
Hitler will tell us to fight on the beaches and on the landing fields
A tunnel full of water will be built under Liverpool
Pigs will be sighted flying in formation over Woolton
And Nelson will not only get his eye back but his arm as well
White Americans will demonstrate for equal rights
In front of the Black house
And the monster has just created Dr. Frankenstein

Girls in bikinis are moonbathing
Folksongs are being sung by real folk
Art galleries are closed to people over 21
Poets get their poems in the Top 20
There's jobs for everybody and nobody wants them
In back alleys everywhere teenage lovers are kissing in broad daylight
In forgotten graveyards everywhere the dead will quietly bury the living
and
You will tell me you love me
Tonight at noon

2008-06-01T19:48:00.005+08:00

Sympathy by Goo Goo Dolls

2008-05-28T19:30:00.003+08:00

"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain." - Abraham Cowley

2008-05-22T21:05:00.003+08:00

haha wow its been a long while since i've posted. have just been SO busy...
some stuff which has happened in a time span of a month or so:
college day/srjc musical
my birthday =)
friends' birthdays
mmm...
mid years have started (sigh...)
WE HAD TO STEP DOWN FROM TOUCH RUGBY =(
*but we might get a chance to play in KL...might...*
school...study...sleep
took a walk from my place all the way to hort park with my family on the new henderson waves trail thingy...that was fun =) but too many ppl. planning to do it tmr! jogging/running/walking

so much stuff happening...
i feel like changing my blog skin...

mid years...gah...
chemistry and gp were just...demoralising...
just have to pick up and *sigh* move on.

what do people think of Christians?
i would like to know... like REALLY
its just a question that's been on my mind.

i want to sing again!

i should just go crazy tmr.
study leave = no sch hahaha = have to study cuz of mid year boohoohooo

2008-04-21T23:01:00.003+08:00

His Love
by Hillsong United
album: God He Reigns (2005)

You're light is over me
Flooding over me
The night is lifted

Heaven over me
Flooding over me
I can't contain it

My cup overflows
My cup overflows

Praise the Lord
With all my heart
Praise Him for He
Has done great things

His banner over me is love
His love
His banner over me is love
His love

You brought the sunshine in
Turned the dark to day
You made the shadows flee away

You opened up my eyes
To a new and living way
The dawning of a brand new day

school's getting busy!
let summarise in a few words what a typical day is like
weekday:school, homework/study, rugby maybe depending on the day
weekend: church(morning/night/sometimes afternoon, homework/study)
its pretty much just like that.
breaks are precious.
ah.
its okay i guess..

i am tired.
i really am.

its amazing how i get all the energy in school.

=)

a level chem spa tmr.
sleep.
BED =D
practically perfect in everyway to end the day.
pillows, blanket, bloster...
soft..
drifting...away...
heh.
gotta go!

2008-03-30T15:07:00.006+08:00

it just felt so good to spend so much time at my second home =) church.

saturday morning i was in school with brigette studying haha we had fun. we watched the soccer girls play with this club for a while too...

then i headed down to church for production meeting! willie was reteaching us and updating us on the sound stuff like for service and all. the stage is much much much cleaner and neater now haha so much better =D. he was preparing all night for us, to give an awesome presentation (which he did!). yeah. really pray that the production ministry would create the atmosphere for people to focus on God during worship!

and after around 3ish, i just went up the one of the classrooms and did my work. very fruitful i must say =) (if not i wouldn't be blogging right now hehehe)

and then i recieved a phone call from ryan asking if i wanted to help out in the skit for tmr's service. so we practiced and skipped yf. we did the "everything" skit. today we did it for both services. i was the drunk woman hahaha! but yeah, the skit really did touch lives. it really reminds us of God's amazing love for us. that agape love. unconditional, pure.

in the skit, Jesus rushes in to the rescue to help after the girl struggles so much to get back to him. Jesus took all her troubles and carried it on his back and just lifted it all and taking it away. Its just amazing..that love. When he died, all our sins were forgiven. Would you send your one and only son or child to die for other people who do not deserve such love?

the lyrics of the song
"how can i stand here with you
and not be moved by you
could you tell me
how could it be any better than this"
have always struck a cord in my heart. How can you not be moved by this love?

yeah, just a piece of my mind haha. =)
go look up the video on the skit of the song Everything by Lifehouse. its just... amazing.

just a few updates =D...
1. BRACES... OFF... TMR... YES! hahaha
2. i love running =) asics shoes here i comeeeeeeee
(its a realisation from this week, running is really good for me)
3. contact training's starting next week! wooo!
4. The Pillow Man this sunday(6/4) =)

2008-03-22T20:39:00.004+08:00

CD THERAPY!

haha yes you guessed it! i bought a ton of cds...AGAIN. well actually i have not bought any in a long while so haha =D (i got my bro to pay for 3 of them heh... he paid about $15.95 for me so its not THAT bad... i was desperate!)

the cds i got:
Smallville TV series soundtrack
listening to it now... gosh its AWESOME!
Big Fish movie soundtrack, music by Danny Elfman
real cool movie =D
The Calling Two
FINALLY! but i'm still trying to find the first few albums...the ones i really wan
Norah Jones Come Away With Me
needed a little bit of piano and a smooth voice

and these 2 cds which i found for a doller EACH
The Getaway People Turnpike Diaries
Spin Doctors You've Got To Believe In Something

im gonna ENJOY every bit of it =)

why must the moon come out tonight...
so big, round and bright...
oh, the reminder!
the reminder...
the reminder.
disappear in the darkness.

2008-03-21T21:36:00.004+08:00

Dear friend,
do you always play pretend?
look how much time you spend,
thinking "will this ever end?"
wasting it, wasting it.

on me! no other.
why even bother,
to reply a silly her,
with the moon a reminder,
staring at it, staring at it.

and then you stop,
did reception drop?
are you busy with a mop?
or maybe with a cop!
doubting it, doubting it.

dear friend,
don't forget,
i'll always remember you,
no matter how much you've been through,
even if you ignore me too,
always, always.

(dear friend, a weak smile for you.)

2008-03-18T22:12:00.004+08:00

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

its been a while since i last posted haha =)

and and to add to the list of the past post! we came in
1st, Cup Champions in the SP Touch Rugby Invitational '08
on sunday =D, real proud of everyone haha its just really amazing. everything is!

i hope touch rug camp never comes, then we won't ever step down...

updates about school

well i got a new GP teacher. he's okay. yeah. philosophical. mmmm haha
seeing the J1s in the new uniform is kinda amusing haha my first line to any J1 in the uniform is "hey nice uniform!" hahaha i know i know, i'm mean, but its really that bad haha well to me at least.
the J1s are settling in... still talk to the people who were in my OGs and all haha, crazy bunch. PAE and JAE alike.
we got 2 PRC students in class visiting for two weeks =) haha liu ying and mao ning. they're here in singapore currently studying english. mmhmm

other than that...school's been okay. i wish the holiday last week went on forever...oh well.

we played with the guys on thrusday! hahaha that was fun. and all in the rain... and william's asking for game again on good friday... (like the school would be open...) hahaha

common test common test. lets not talk about that. touchy subject.
but i've been inspired to really motivate everyone around me to study and do well. because i don't want to see anything of the sort happen next year when we get results. and i mean it! i just really want everyone..and me too... to do well. no one should be left behind.
i'm not great either... i suck too, but at least i wanna do this for all of us =) and hopefully we'll all see each other in the same uni someday haha

each day is getting more tiring... its just not easy. but i know i can do this because God is by my side =) pray for the best for each and everyday.

smile =D

2008-03-09T16:59:00.008+08:00

let me just update ppl out there on our success =D
SRJC Touch Rug team's success

Jan 2008: 3rd - Republic of Singapore Navy Invitational Tournament '08

Feb 2008: Plate Champions - LFS International Schools Invitational '08

March 2008: 3rd - Issac Touch Rugby Tournament by Singapore Rugby Union March '08

and the last tournament was yesterday =D

ahh haha love the girls.
love the team.
love rugby.

love you guys to bits =)

can't wait till next sunday for our next tournament =D

2008-03-03T19:13:00.004+08:00

YES responsive indeed =D
well as expected.
haha kind like a 'reply' to the last post. haha

argh. common test started today.
HELP!

GP AQ: how is hope beneficial to our society?

hope.

i'm not going to write my semi-essay here.

don't we all have hope? at least a tiny bit?

my dad said he'd rather not touch the subject of hope. mmm wonder why.

math AND chem tmr...

pray for me... really.