victoria
christian
eighteen
17th May 1990

Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit,
to sustain me.

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.




BIO 190A Final Exam - 14 Dec 09
Christmas! - 25 December
Back to school - 4 Jan 09

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
12:13 p.m.

i feel so angry. in tears angry. why can't you just let me do something, why can't you just trust me.
i am already 19. 19. i know what i am doing. i have a brain. i'm not a sheltered ungrateful singaporean. why cant you just see that. why cant you just listen to the things i tell you. for one second. just listen. listen. and trust me. you make me cry so violently. because you don't take the effort to understand me. you're always too busy. that you can't even read my email, the whole thing. and you ask me to email you, that's the best part. i don't like this. i hate myself for talking to you that way, but i just wished you listened to me. and trusted me enough. I am in Canada... and i'm living. I've found my way around. Myself. I do things myself. I don't need someone else to go first then I will go, i can just step out and do it myself. i found a church because i just went to one. people are not things that if i don't have i cant't do anything... i have to stop. i must stop. because it hurts. i love you. but you make me feel all... red inside. and yet, you're all i have. to talk to... home.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
1:38 p.m.

17 days till school ends
27 days till the last exam
38 days to Christmas
it'll happen all in a bam

the first year
not even
close

handling the work load
juggling the life
repression, denial, sublimation even!
thank God that exam's just over.

rain down
because the wind's just... too much.
too cold...
popsicle.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
12:27 p.m.

i've left so much behind...
family, i've left you behind...
and i want to go back
i want to go back.

so badly.

but there's more ahead.
to do, to say, to live.

if only tears and magic fairy dust could just bring you back.
to the place where i do belong.

'i am bound for the promise land' - jars of clay, on jordan's stormy banks i stand

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
8:30 a.m.

my fingers on my left hand are like peeling on the tips... plus they hurt. and they're like so hard now... but they hurt. so much for getting used to it haha. learning songs on the guitar is always a awesome thing to do when you're feeling all bleah and you don't want to finish up your formal report which is due on tuesday and to be checked tomorrow... (man...)
i've been working on it... just was taking a break after abt.. 3 hours... i've got 2 pages left (as opposed to 8 pages more if i was starting from scratch)
i wonder what'll happen if i plaster my finger tips... see if it will hurt less.

i really need to start getting creative again. feel so lost without my paints, my papers, my material, glue, sisors, ribbon, boxes, felt, markers, cloth and whatever art material i have...at home... and i've just lost inspiration to do things... school work (big ugh) probably if i have a reason i can get so into it, but there's nothing so far, not now... have to start doing random things for people again hahaha
my "just because" chocolate stint in JC. loved that!
creative juices... FLOW!

halloween was an interesting holiday to observe. literally. talk about eye openong experiences.

alright back to the report

i cant believe i have to wait a month for my leeland cd to arrive cuz hmv has to import it... but the good thing i guess is i dont have to pay for the importing price =) just the cd.

this is an emergency...

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
9:05 a.m.

how much of your soul are you selling/giving to the world
looks like the devil's winning
the laughter of a boy and girl in the morning
after a night of drunkness, costumes followed by a awesome hangover
its easy to lose yourself
but it was a simple choice

its not fun waiting
its not fun anticipating
its just *shrugs shoulders* not fun

tears of the saints
for the lost and unsaved
we're crying for them come back home
we're crying for them come back home

this is an emergency.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
11:46 p.m.