victoria
christian
eighteen
17th May 1990

Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit,
to sustain me.

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.




BIO 190A Final Exam - 14 Dec 09
Christmas! - 25 December
Back to school - 4 Jan 09

i think i need a friend
not just for pretend
not right till the end
just for now
but how?
why not just a cow
and all the gibberish i could possibly think up right now... as i wait for a buzz to go off.

i wish i were back with my sec 1s in class right now...
they make me smile, strangely
maybe because they're full of youth and promise...
still young in meeting the world.
all who have yet to make connections that may last...
or not last...
or that mean nothing..

people say a lot of things...
they really do.
you don't know if they mean it or not until you actually test their credibility
well... i've never been one to venture into such testing...

maybe its time to do so...

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
11:22 p.m.

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - Tracks of My Tears

People say I'm the life of the party
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..

I need you, need you

Since you left me if you see me with another girl
Seeming like I'm having fun
Although she may be cute
She's just a substitute
Because you're the permanent one..

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..

I need you, need you

Outside I'm masquerading
Inside my hope is fading
Just a clown oh yeah
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up
I wear since my break up with you..

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

its really such a beautiful song. i hate to say this but i discovered this song through American Idol when Adam Lambert sang it. and it was really as Smokey said, tender. and Smokey was saying that... when he wrote this song he through of actually if you really came up to the person singing, you could actually see the faded trace of tears from the break up. that's the extent of sadness...
wow. =)

how many tracks run along your cheeks for the different reasons...

i'd say plenty.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
9:32 p.m.

woo! i feel really fresh and alive =)
mainly because of Loud Fest '09 (which is UNFORTUNATELY OVER...awww...oh well.)
i'm currently bopping to Made Alive by Audacious, awesome song =) and the album is awesome too!

over Loud Fest '09, the ignite conference, my life, and some perspectives have changed. lots of revelations. its been awesome. Some revelations regarding:
1. worship
2. evangelism
3. Christianity
4. youth ministry
5. my relationship with God
and many many more...

it was just awesome. probably in the next few posts i'll be elaborating on my revelations, so.. stay tuned =)

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
7:59 p.m.

you are not supposed to feel this way at all. NOT!
another one. AND of the same kind.

OKAY STOP.

you cannot assume anything.

strike two.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
11:59 p.m.

how to keep an active social life:
1. MONEY!
2. have a great personality so people can actually TALK to you
3. stop lazing around at home and doing nothing aka sleeping, looking at the computer screen for hours
4. when you're invited to something, just GO.
5. lastly, don't get bored, go do something!

[please don't take this list seriously, its meant to be a product of entertainment, if it even is...]

i'm seriously so so... i don't know what to do. i want to be in school again.

canada singapore canada singapore singapore singapore canada CAAANNNNADDAAAA

lalala...

help.

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and everything you do
yeah they were all yellow

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
10:52 p.m.

you've always been the untold mystery in my life. and even as i look up at the full moon, i just think about this mystery, the mystery that has never been revealed, or rather never been uncovered because its not been ventured.
i honestly don't know what you're doing, who you're talking to if you are, what you're looking at, smelling, eating, thinking right at this very moment, but what i do know is that you're not replying and its as if you hold the key to this mystery because the lock to open it is almost "unpickable".
i thought i left you in a corner up in the attic. i thought. well maybe i thought wrong. and each time i take the book i scream "open up!" but the lock stays shut, the book with all the pages tightly held together. surely there must be a way.
till that day, i shall wait. and try to fill the pages in a similar book, one without a lock. one that i cna read and convince myself that, i solved the mystery, i did it. when you sit, up in the corner, waiting... to unlock yourself when the time comes.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
10:55 p.m.

how do you actually deal with the big D...
think... movie sequence.
happy family, have 3 kids, pretty much grown up already say the youngest being 18, and then the dad wants a divorce (big shocker) and the mum's obviously having lime but recovering, they separate, they go separate ways, mum stays because family's close by, the oldest goes out on a drinking frenzy because she can't handle it and eventually tries to not screw her life up. in the end they live happily ever after, somehow, from learning from the past. the end.

how nice.

this is not.. good. at all.


2 Corinthians 1:3-4
[The God of All Comfort] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
11:18 p.m.

4.16pm and i've got about 2 hours till i'm off work haha...

sigh...

there are just so many many MANY things happening in my life right now. its really a whirlwind...

every afternoon when i stare at the desktop screen i always feel so sleepy. maybe my eyes are just irritated... so i changed the blog skin, letting it have a sort of green theme haha... lame.. i know...

i feel like writing a poem. haven't done so in a while.
i just need to gather the inspiration from somewhere...

sigh...

when i sigh i actually do. its a breathing thing... a pause and then a sigh haha

today's one of the day's which i don't have training =)
i currently have 2 rugby trainings i'm attending:
1. HK Sevens training (mon, thur/fri)
2. WRNC 10s training (wed,sun)
its been tiring i suppose. plus i have fitness to do before trainings... ai yai yai...


last sunday one of my cell members asked me this question, "teacher, why are you always so tired when i ask you a question?"
and it really got me thinking... right now i have so many things that i have to do or have to go for.
HAVE TO DO/HAVE TO GO FOR...more like want to do and want to go for...because its a choice. and i've chosen to do everything. besides that, it is true that i am tired. it is true that i really feel like giving up and dropping everything i have to do now. but i can't. there are people who need me. and i cannot just drop everything like that even if i wanted to.

sigh... i am tired but i'll still carry on.


each morning i do my quiet time either at home or in church. but recently i've been doing it in church. journalling, reading the bible... its been awesome =)
this one verse has really encouraged me, although my faith is not really being tested right now but still the verse is really amazing.
"God will bless you, if you don't give up when your faith is being tested - James 1:12"
it was one of the gracestar verses on the board in the classroom. such a great verse =)


as you can see i'm being real random...
random thoughts...
as i said there's lots going in up in my head. its driving me insane! haha

oh well... i hope it all gets sorted out soon.

by thursday i'll find out if i'm playing for the national team or not in HK for rugby 7s
and by friday i'll get my A level results and find out how i do...whoop..de...doo oo oo...
level of enthusiasm: 50% hahaha

okay in the spirit of randomness... i shall post photos...

blacks RFC at WRNC 7s

blacks 2 at WRNC 7s!

the nike human race... 10k woo!

SRJC touch rugby team, geared up and ready to go with Mr Andrew being more ready than us

nash and i at prom hahaha =D nothing's better than a bow tie

good times
hokay till the next post!

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
4:14 p.m.