victoria
christian
eighteen
17th May 1990

Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit,
to sustain me.

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.




BIO 190A Final Exam - 14 Dec 09
Christmas! - 25 December
Back to school - 4 Jan 09

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
James Morrison - You Give Me Something
John Mayer - Dreaming With A Broken Heart
Elton John - Your Song
Gavin Rossdale - Love Remains the Same
Coldplay - Viva La Vida

awesome new/old songs

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
7:57 p.m.

i guess people just...change.
they just do.

me, you, they, she, he, them, us...we all change.

for better or for worse? well that's a different story altogether.

apart from obsessing about the fact that people change and i can't do anything about it...
or can i...anyway...the a levels are coming.

stop all the clocks.

lets see if i remember the order:
clb 1,2
gp 1,2
math 1
chem 3
bio 2
math 2
lit 1, clb lc
chem 2
chem 1
bio 3
bio 1

ahhhh....

its gonna be...fine. YES it is....

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
9:17 p.m.

i can't wait to play rugby again
i can't wait to go out with friends. the old, the new, everyone!
i can't wait to have days where i can just sit around "talking cock" till forever
i can't wait to save money to buy new cds
i can't wait for campFREE
i can't wait to wear something other than pe tshirts and shirts from sr
i can't wait...i can't wait to wake up late again
i can't wait to use my com to chat all day on msn
i can't wait to blab over the phone for hours
i can't wait to meet everyone
i can't wait...till the A's are over....

i just can't wait.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
8:24 p.m.

monday
it passed so slowly
painfully
ugh the agony

1 more month! and it'll be over
OVER =D (can you see how wide the smile is...)

lets see the people who came by to talk to me today almost in order:
joel
joelyn and pauline
melissa
arif
newman and jason
nicholas and man, and later ammar
gilson and dickson
domanic
jared
the girl to guy ratio is just way off...3:11 wowza...
the canteen - a place for food, conversation and talking real loudly...woo..hoo..

and tomorrow will be tuesday

terrific tuesday

haha the councilors should have a word for each day instead of "have a great day ahead" like everyday....
"have a terrific tuesday ahead!" or " have a wacky wednesday ahead!"
... well it does sound better haha...every day isn't always just 'great' you know...

this is not the time to be all dramatic, but seriously...
its all becoming a drag... the days....are sooo long...
(and its only been monday)

ah! i'm going crazy...

anyway... read the charlotte bronte poem below. love it =)

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
10:36 p.m.

Evening Solace by Charlotte Bronte

The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;­
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back­a faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.
Oh ! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie !

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress­
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven,
Seeking a life and world to come.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
10:27 p.m.

how the days pass so slowly yet quickly at the same time

and you realise new things about yourself that you didn't realise half your life
boy, what an eye-opener.

so many things are gonna happen after the As... i can just feel it. so SO many things.
i feel it in my bones hahaha

*rolls eyes* i'm trying not to go psycho here...


'Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.' Psalm 21:14

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
11:16 p.m.

just listening to Blue Eyes by the Cary Brothers again... scroll down if you want to listen to it
nice mellow song... to cure this aching head of mine haha

blue eyes
you're the secret i keep

the a's are coming soon
they're just drawing closer and closer
are you freaking out yet?

whatever my lot You have taught me to say
it is well, it is well with my soul

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
9:17 p.m.

yes, it was paranoia.

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
1:12 a.m.

"short through the heart and you're to blame. you give love a bad name."

how apt a line

maybe because it was coming right at me and i chose to take it
head on

if only the mars bar would just stop being so irresistibly nice to pick up because of its creamy insides
but if the caramel goes bad... should you eat it again?
(literally, don't)

or maybe its paranoia as always
WHY!

ah

life goes on

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." Psalms 27:1

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
10:43 p.m.

friendship
friend-ship
maybe its a journey with much turbulence that's why you need a 'ship' at the end of 'friend'
well its a heck of a journey
different ones
easy ones with calm waters
rocky ones with constant whirl pools and hurricanes
but the ship still sails
slowly but surely
what kind of waters are you?

feelings
ugh how i hate them
one minute you feel something the next you have to diminish it and put out the flame
i seriously don't know how this fire (maybe even a small flame) still exists
the chances to pour water all over it and make sure it was extinguished never happened
the pail was always next to the fire but untouched till this day
why? i loathe the question
i just want to know what sparked the spark to the flame
what's even fueling this undying flame
what? what!? what...
and then hopefully i'll be able to put out the light

recently the skies have been more beautiful
the moon shines brighter than ever before and the stars take after it
the clouds shape themselves into fluffy ponies
and i imagine them to be soft pillows
ah i love God's creation
is there anything more beautiful?

how sharp can a needle get when its been sharpened?
can a needle be sharpened?
i knew it would hurt
i know its hurting
i know it will hurt again
small holes they make
and the blood oozes out
slowly,
how long will it be before the small makes a big
and then the blood splatters, erupts
and ruins the heart
wouldn't you so love it
thank God for the heart of steel that still feels

light, oh light!
thank you for shining in
its never been this bright
well there were brighter days
now its just...getting dimmer
but still its brighter
its like the light in the living room - too bright
but i like it
hopefully the light doesn't blind

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me"
Psalm 51:12

You keep me safe in a crazy world.
10:07 p.m.