scribbles/ Saturday, October 13, 2007
i had to sleep this all over because yesterday was too overwhelming.
just couldn't blog about it so soon.
can you imagine all your friends, close friends, having the POSSIBILITY (i said possibility) of leaving you?
it means you cant see them everyday anymore in school, or at cca, or tell them "I CAN'T BELIEVE AUS AND NZ LOST!" or give them a dose of your own lameness everyday so they'd laugh and laugh =)
yesterday we checked our scripts for the promo exams.
for me, i really thank God for pulling me through because i wouldn't have the capability to study that much without his help and guidence. like really. those who know me, you know how playful i am (hello the 2 weeks before promos i was playing rugby haha we all were with the guys because i started =D) and really, the discipline to sit down everyday in school to skip lunch, eat at breaks, being called a "mugger" (don't worry you're forgiven) , and just studying and studying. and...i got promoted well.
i'm not exactly real high or anything that i got promoted. i mean i'm happy, yes i'm happy i'm promoting, really thank God for all the help.
but what about my friends?
i don't wanna write something here saying "i'm gonna miss you sooo much if you go" because i DON'T want them to go. its a big IF. they've still got h2 math and overall results. i'll be praying for you guys. BUT make the right decision, don't stay because...you love me too much, okay kidding. stay because you'll put in that effort for the As and i'll be right behind you (forcing you to be a "mugger" like me, then when we all are there will be no one to say "mugger" anymore!)
joelyn was crying and i didn't know how to handle it. ah i'm just very upset. timo was all in high spirits but you could tell he wasn't that happy either. david and felix too. brig's waiting for math and is worried.
all the people who bring life into SR and make me wanna stay might not promote with me. tell me how do handle this?!
last night i was tearing because of what joelyn wrote in her blog:
VICTORIA
u're the first person tht came to mind.
VIC!!! i know u really really want us all to be promoted. i know how upset u are.
i'll really miss u. i'll miss the bickering. i'll miss the laughter. i'll miss the fun. i really really will.
we wont get to see each other often if she promotes and i dont.
we could still hang out though. unless vic doesnt want me anymore.
awwww. i feel like im gonna cry.
without u, it wont be the same.
vic was really sweet today. she made me this during pw lecture.
and she was like " dont cry okay!" hahas.
i was all emo and i cried during break.
and i told vic hw im gonna miss her and all and she was like " NO! NO! NO!"
the whole time she was like tht.
im happy victoria passed her CLB essay. im happy vic's gonna get promoted.
im just sad i might nt be able to promote with her.
who is she gonna ask when she needs help with her CLB?
who is gonna help her do her much dreaded lian xi?
vic was like telling me nt to cry in sch just now but the moment rachel and miko came up to me i couldnt hold back the tears alr.
i was hugging rachel and crying at the same time.
like im just really really sad. its kinda like graduation day 2006 all over again.
just tht im gonna miss different people right now.
i wanna give victoria a really big hug
for some reason, it seems like im gonna miss victoria the most.
ARGH! the agony... the pain...i don't know what i'd do without you guys!!!
i think i'll miss joelyn and timo the most. (keep in mind i don't want them to go)
joelynif you go
who am i gonna ask when i need help with my CLB?
who is gonna help me do my much dreaded lian xi?
WHO?!
i guess i can ask hui jia, but i wouldn't be the same.
who else can i tell to go to a shoe sale at vivo!
who is gonna be there to tell me about soccer (even when im totally uninterested haha =D)
who is gonna tolerate my lame comments
i'll be stranded, alone. left to rot in SR for another year.
love you, babe =) if you don't stay (nonono!!!), we must have daily/monthly/yearly gatherings!
must!!! if not...
sry no if not. MUST!
timoi've knew you like since MI haha one of the first guys i met.
but you really have brought life into this journey in SR.
studying wouldn't be studying without you!
and cockroaches would come and find ME instead of YOU.
nights would be boring because no lame phones calls trying to scare me haha!
no one can do the booty dance as well as you hahaha!
no one is as gay/childish/FUN! as you =) okay you're NOT gay
who would chase me around the pillars at city hall or school if you're gone?
who would try and take my book from my hands and make me chase you hahaha
who would make me understand chem?!
timo mo mo emo =)
another on that i MUST MUST meet up with!
ah i need to pack for youth leaders retreat at sentosa.
there's a sun shower now, its beautiful =) [means its all sunny with nice rain]
it's gonna be alright today.
i'll be in sentosa from today will sunday afternoon so don't expect me online.
i don't know what to feel.
You keep me safe in a crazy world.
9:58 a.m.
